If so, you’re not alone. I’ve been a heartbroken artist too, and I’ve witnessed an epidemic of heartbroken ones out there.
If you’re like me, you’re exceptionally hard on yourself and your creations, and you feel vulnerable, sensitive, and ashamed when you write or share your writing.
Maybe the last writing class you took was full of so much critique you sadly, stopped. Or you’re a burned-out writer and you’ve forgotten that writing and creativity could actually be fun!
It has been heartbreaking and you think about it all the time but can never quite give yourself the space to have a breakthrough in your precious creative life – even though it’s deeply important to you.
Here’s a bit of my story:
I was born into a family of fast and smart talkers, though I was the shy and highly sensitive kid. I developed the soul of a writer by spending so much time in quiet observation – making up bizarre and funny subtexts. I was a stealth, closet writer, but writing felt like home.
I didn’t share my writing much, because when I did I was so hard on myself that it felt better to hide. But still, I had this longing to create and a knowing that writing would be a major part of my life path.
I eventually became tired of all the hiding. I knew it was time to confront the obstacles and vulnerability I had around writing and sharing my work.
I tried. I took classes. I attempted to write like authors I admired. I tried to be a “good” writer, and yet I felt more stifled and controlled and all of the joy just drained out of the process. And so I quit. And quit again.
Then I found myself in the most unlikely place – in a messy cafe in Seattle, around a little table with a motley crew of the most unlikely writers. I found so much acceptance there because there was no judgment or critique, and there was no such thing as a mistake. It was all process, and I felt free to experiment and explore.
And then one day it happened. I let go. I stopped the effort and struggle. I literally felt a rush of words flow down and through the top of my head. What a lucky moment for me!
As Emily Dickinson said:
“If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.”
I felt free as I watched my inner critic fall away. I was entering an ecstatic state of flow. I stopped being serious and controlling. I stopped worrying about being a “good” writer. I stopped caring and instead went along for the wild ride, and the writing that came out was completely different. It was not “of me” but rather “through me.” The joy came flooding back and I would laugh like a kid at play.
And as Dr. Seuss famously said,
“I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells.”
A book flowed out of me with a force, and Somewhere in a Town You Never Knew Existed Somewhere went on to become an award-winning book of short stories. I started reading in public. Even though my voice shook, I did it anyway. I saw that my life was opening up instead of closing down, and the sense of hiding was going away. My life was forever changed.
I went on to become a KaizenMuse Creativity Coach, as I began to feel a deep call to teach this process of opening up to others, as well as pass along tools from coaching so that writers and artists could form a foundation of resilience. The entire vision and design of Writing from the Top of Your Head came to me in a rush, out of the same boundless place of creativity I had discovered in that cafe in Seattle.
Though I was terrified, I taught my first local class of eight students in 2014, and they kept coming back, class after class – for many many rounds! The methodology was refined with their help, and I am forever grateful to them. It is now my great joy and passion to support creatives to embrace their inner genius and step courageously into becoming more and more of who they are. That’s all there is to do!
So, heartbroken one, if you have been suffering silently, you are invited to come to this safe haven and unlearn all the things you’ve been taught and told that have stifled your beautiful creative life. In this world of so much competition and criticism, so many of us need to heal and come home.
““We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings. We craft love from heartbreak. Compassion from shame. Grace from disappointment. Courage from failure. Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. And we are rising strong.””
Bio
Nina Hart is a writer, performer, and creativity coach trained in the Kaizen-Muse method. She is also a certified Gateless Method writing teacher – “a method of teaching the art and craft of writing using creative brain science, ancient non-dual teachings and highly-effective craft tools…allowing writers to access the creative genius inside.” Her first collection of surreal short fictions called “Somewhere in a Town You Never Knew Existed Somewhere” was selected as a Short Stories (Adult Fiction) category finalist in Foreword Reviews’ prestigious 2014 IndieFab Book of the Year Awards. She is the founder of a unique method of teaching writing called “Writing from the Top of your Head,” which combines group Creativity Coaching with creative writing. Her workshops have also been inspired by the work of Paulo Freire and his philosophy of education for liberation, and the work of Brene Brown. Nina was an original member of the experimental dance troupe Contraband, in San Francisco and, playing a purple electric bass, has recorded and performed with numerous bands. She’s currently serving on the board of the wonderful Story Parlor, Asheville.
My Book
SOMEWHERE IN A TOWN YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED SOMEWHERE
A book that speaks directly to society’s “elephants in the living room” through kooky hooliganism and satire
More from Nina on Creativity…
“To writers, artists, movers & shakers, Nina is on to something simple and radical and profound. If you are interested in accessing your true voice absent of all the crazy influences we’ve all been schooled into carrying around, consider this course. She is gifted, funny, deeply compassionate, sensitive and perceptive, and her work seems to be sourced in a world other than this one. In my opinion, this is a great thing because our imaginative capacities are needed now to bring what we dream is possible into the world. ”
“I never considered myself a writer before Nina coached me through my second book. Her support was invaluable in getting my words onto the page, as writing for me is quite an emotional journey, and I basically just bleed my experiences out through my fingertips. I felt like I had a friend, a confidant, and someone who truly supported my efforts backing me the entire way. The encouragement and heartfelt commitment Nina had for my efforts was invaluable, and what I received was much more than anything I could have simply paid for or put a price on. Her intuition and guidance kept me strong through the entire process, and I look forward to a continued connection. I would not hesitate to utilize her services again or to take an upcoming class or workshop.”
“I have struggled for years to write against a constant storm of inner criticism screaming, “Don’t write it like that. You can’t say that. You’re doing it wrong.” It’s been increasingly hard to summon up the courage to get to the page, let alone put words on it, and I end up retreating, sooner or later, under the torrent of self-abuse. I have read shelves of books on writer’s block and becoming more creative or productive, with little result.I’ve signed up for classes and creativity coaching, which I often don’t finish because the fear/perfectionism/self-criticism won’t abate enough to do the lessons... But Nina has structured the course so that, for the first time, those lessons could sneak, ninja-like, past my defensive barriers and take root. With the help of her talks and prompts—through which Nina’s compassion, wisdom, and playful spirit shine—I’ve finally created a small, safe space within myself where the words can flow without fear. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before, and I am so grateful to Nina for that gift.”